Fading Away
by beckyadav
Summary: TV verse. Heavy angst. The stress of being IR's field commander is becoming too much for Scott, and he's slowly slipping away. But does anyone even notice? First fanfic, please R&R! Chapter Two up!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Fading Away

Summary: Heavy angst. The stress of being IR's field commander is becoming too much for Scott, and he's slowly slipping away. But does anyone even notice?

Rating: PG-13 (Note: British and have no idea what I'm doing!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Thunderbirds, in any way, shape or form. Don't bother suing, I'm poor.

Author's note: First fanfic. Scarier words have never been spoken. Please R&R! All constructive criticism will be gladly accepted, however, flames will be used to melt chocolate. :-)

SCOTT

They can never know.

I stand on the cliff, watching them. Laughing and joking. They look so carefree.

My attention is drawn as Gordon pushes Alan in the pool, and a smile twitches involuntary on my lips. Always a joker, even as a child. I smile and remember my exasperation as every day, inevitably, things would disappear, and there'd be a twinkle in his eye.

My attention turns to John. Always the quiet one. I miss him when he's up in space, manning Thunderbird Five. We all do. Especially Alan, for he barely gets to see his brother, except for brief periods between shift swapping. I'm glad Brains is up there now. It gives him a break. I worry about John, being stuck up there on his own. How must he feel, every time he informs us of a rescue? Stranded, thousands of miles away, unable to help, only able to relay information and comforting words. He handles it though. He's strong. We all are. We all have to be.

Alan. The baby of the family. He hates being called that. He thinks we don't trust him. Yet Father sends him out on the rescues. You'd think that would tell him something. I can always tell that it annoys him when I try to protect him. It's only because I care, Virgil tells him. I practically raised him. I can't help it. He's more like a son than a brother to me.

Virgil. The artist of the family. He understands more than the others. He always worries about me. I can see him now, scanning around urgently for me. He thinks I isolate myself too much. He doesn't fully understand. They can never fully understand. The burden of being the oldest. I have to look out for them all. Ever since Mom died…

Father fell apart. He was so grief stricken, he couldn't even begin to think of us. The reminders of what we were. It fell to me to raise my brothers. Most of the time, I like being the oldest. But sometimes….sometimes…it's so hard to even get up.

VIRGIL

I see him, standing on the cliff. Watching over us. Like he always has done. He knows I worry. Yet, he tells me not to. "I'm fine" he always says. It's crystal clear that he isn't. Father doesn't see. All he sees is his oldest son, doing what he always has. He doesn't understand that he's breaking under the strain. Can't see that the protective walls he put up after Mom died are being chipped away. He never let himself grieve. He was too concerned with us. He always puts us first. But one day, he's going to have to think about his own welfare. He has to. Before we lose Scott altogether…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Thunderbirds, Don't bother suing, I'm even poorer than before due to Christmas shopping….

In response to my reviewers, thank you all so much for reviewing! You lot made my day every time I saw the review alert email in my inbox. :-)

gillian88: thanks so much for reading it even though I know you've never watched Thunderbirds lol! Yeah, I wasn't sure about that bit either, but I decided to leave it and see what people thought. And I know my grammar's terrible blush thanks for helping me so much with this luv! You rock!

miz greenleaf: yeah, I'm mean to him aren't I? But since I love Scott angst…expect to see a lot more. I'm so evil, huh?

pepsemaxke: thanks, I'll update as frequently as I can…but I have to juggle college work as well. In fact, I'm supposed to be doing that now…oops…hope you enjoy this chapter!

Tanwen Micara: thanks so much hun. I agree, I love Scott angst, there can never be too much as far as I'm concerned, though this chapter is not so angsty. Necessary to the story development though. Hope you continue to enjoy!

will-jenkins: I know, I don't like the film either (even though I haven't actually seen it…lol). Cool, will never turn down talking to other people who like Thunderbirds, since most of my friends think me insane…and I'm blushing, I never thought I'd actually write something that was post worthy!

mcj: as I mentioned above, I have never actually seen the film, so I can't comment, but thanks very much for your kind words and I hope I manage to follow up the angst, and bring more depth to this story.

Oh, and gillian88 has very kindly offered to beta this story for me. Since I haven't spoken to her recently, I'm posting this chapter unbetaed, but I might reload it later if it needs correcting. So if you notice any changes, that'll be why! Major hugs to gill!

A/N: Also, I don't have any first hand knowledge of dams. All this comes from my brain, which is an insane and whacky place to be. Mistakes are all down to me. On with the story!

* * *

Scott sighed as he stepped into the shower. Turning on the faucet, he reached for the soap and started to wash away the grimy reminders of that day's rescue. It had been particularly hard work, requiring more people than they had originally thought. Scott had been forced to abandon mobile control to help his brothers, when it became clear that two pairs of hands simply weren't enough. Due to unusual circumstances, only three Tracy brothers had been able to go on the rescue. John was back up in Thunderbird Five, however, Brains was still up there and Alan had joined them, to do some essential repairs. The distress call had still come through though, and Jeff had had no choice but to just send Scott, Virgil and Gordon on a mission that sounded exceedingly tricky and very dangerous.

_Earlier that day_

Scott circled the site from Thunderbird One, his disbelieving eyes taking in the scene of utter chaos reigning below him.

"Shit..."

"What's up Scott?" Virgil's concerned voice came through the speakers. Scott silently cursed, not realising that the connection to Thunderbird Two had been open.

"Nothing Virg."

Virgil's eyebrows rose over in Thunderbird Two. He knew Scott almost better than he knew himself, and he hadn't missed the raw emotions in that expletive. Annoyed that Scott wouldn't open up voluntarily, he simply asked what it looked like down there.

"Not promising. Good job we brought the Mole and Firefly. We're gonna need them."

Details from the site had been sketchy, due to a bad radio connection and Thunderbird Five's programs been updated, so upon hearing that there had been an explosion at a dam, Jeff had instructed them to take the Mole and Firefly along with Thunderbird Four, saying that you could never be too careful.

Scott was glad for his father's foresight now, surveying the disaster site below him. His statement to Virgil must have been the understatement of the year. The dam, which much have been nearly a mile wide, was now in disarray. The explosion must have occurred in the heart of the dam, and as a result half the dam wall was missing. Water poured through the hole at a terrifying speed, and Scott's face hardened as he realised how many people would already be beyond their help. He hated losing anybody, and even though rationally he knew that there would have been nothing he could have done for them even if International Rescue had been at the scene when the dam blew, he couldn't help feeling stabs of guilt. He quickly pushed these to one side though. Guilt couldn't help them now. He'd deal with those feelings later. His eyes, now set like steel, viewed the scene below him in a cold detached manner, cataloguing events in his mind for later use. The man who had contacted International Rescue had been cagey at best about events, but he had mentioned the explosion, and also that some men were trapped in the heart of the dam. They had been working on essential repairs when the explosion had occurred, but the metal walls had held. They were now trapped with no escape, and air would be fast running out. The radio connection was holding out for the moment, but there was no telling how long it would last. It was therefore imperative that Scott contacted them, and found out as much as he could in the time available. But in order to do that, he had to land and find the man who had contacted them. Scanning the area, he saw an area where people seemed to have congregated and were waving to him.

Scott muttered, "Good a place as ever, I guess" before releasing Thunderbird One's struts and coming in to make a smooth landing. Opening the hatch, he descended to be met by a man aged about 50, with an agitated look on his face.

"Thank God you're here!" The man greeted Scott, wringing his hands. "They're still trapped in there!"

"Take it easy buddy. We're here to help" Scott tried to calm the man down. The no nonsense approach must have worked, for the man took a deep breath and started again.

"I'm sorry. You just don't know how bad this is!" The man was clearly suffering from shock, but Scott needed his help, for the more information they had, the more chance they had of rescuing those poor people.

"Right. Well, I'm Scott. And the sooner you tell me all you know, the sooner we can get those people out of there. Do you have any plans of the dam we can look at?"

The man nodded, and led him over to the small building that seemed to serve as an office. The plans were already laid out on the desk. Scott studied them, carefully noting all the man told him.

"The explosion occurred here, in that room there, The force of the blast took out that section of the dam wall, and the water came flooding through. Due to heavy rain recently, the water levels were very high. The men working there never stood a chance."

Scott, his face impassive, took all this in. "So the men who are trapped were working down there because of the increasing water levels?"

"Yes, they were trying to lower the water levels. They were very close to succeeding when the dam exploded."

"Do we know what happened to cause the explosion?" Scott asked the question, noticing the immediate change on the man's face. Before, he had simply been worried. Now, his face took on a cagey look, and he glanced around nervously, before sighing and replying.

"I guess it can't do any harm to tell you. I'll be frank with you, Scott. There was nothing in that room which could have merited an explosion."

"Meaning?" Scott had a bad feeling about this.

"Sabotage" The man confirmed.

Scott swallowed, before turning to contact Virgil. This just kept on getting better and better.

"Virg, how far away are you?"

"ETA 5 minutes Scott."

Scott silently thanked whoever out there was listening, and looked back to the plans to figure out a plan of action. This rescue was complicated enough to start with, and now they also had to contend with the fact that there could be more bombs on the site, and that the man who held the controls probably had no qualms about blowing International Rescue sky high. This was gonna be a tricky one.

* * *

Please remember to R & R! 


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